#III / June Book & Post Haul, feat. A Lot Of Things I’ve Been Thinking About

note: Since I have a lot of posts now and I don’t really haul many books, this is now both a book haul post and a list of posts I’ve loved this month. So instead of book hauls only, these wrap-ups function as yet another section of my monthly wrap-up posts! I think this will add a little more dimension to these posts, which I’ve tended to find kind of boring in the past [don’t kill me].


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[check out my previous hauls here]
reviews linked in each post

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  • The Near Witch by VE Schwab
  • I think there were some more but I honestly have no idea what they were I’m so sorry I’m like this

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“I think #MeToo exists on another plane from desire,” she says. “Sometimes, they intersect, but for the most part they don’t. The issue is that we are talking a lot about what is not OK. We don’t want to be raped and molested and cat-called – though it’s kind of wild that men didn’t know this already. But we’re still not talking about what women actually do want. There’s still a fear that if we say what we want, it might not be OK; that it hasn’t been okayed by those who make the rules, who are mostly men.

“The autonomy of successful married life can leave spouses cut off from their communities. Having children may slightly soften the isolating effects of marriage, because parents often turn to others for help… The expectations that come with living with a serious partner, married or not, can enforce the norms that create social isolation… Today’s newlyweds, Finkel argues, want all that and prestige, autonomy, personal growth, and self-expression. A marriage is supposed to help the individuals within it become the best versions of themselves. This means that more and more, Americans turn to their spouses for needs they once expected an entire community to fulfill.”

“In her 1991 book Families We Choose, the anthropologist Kath Weston wrote about the prominence of these sorts of chosen families in queer communities. These relationships, which were not shaped by legal or biological definitions of kinship, played a central role in queer lives, especially during the AIDS crisis… the people Weston interviewed turned to alternative forms of family-making not simply because they were denied access to legal marriage, but also because many had been rejected by their families of origin. Still, the LGBTQ+ community continues to provide a model for intimacy and care beyond the bounds of the institution of marriage.”

“I don’t think choosing not to get married will save us from loneliness, but I think expanding our sense of what love looks like might. We’ve decided not to get married, for now, at least. I hope that might be a reminder to turn toward the people around us as often as we turn toward each other.”

“If you’ve dated, say, introverted and neurotic people in the past, you’re likely to date similar types of people in the future… Interestingly, however, they found that this partner association was weaker, although still present, for people who scored high on extroversion and openness to new experience. If you are an outgoing person who loves trying new things, in other words, you are more likely to date people who are dissimilar to one another.” (Also, it’s worth taking this quiz!!)

“I wonder if they’re still mad they didn’t get to march in their uniforms in the parade, expecting cheers from the people they’ve left for eight years to die while a murderer picked us off, while across town they arrested us in parks for having sex, and electrocuted us in the streets… Maybe that is uncharitable.”

“All of this has laid bare the fact that we are alone,” David says. “We have no superheroes. We are alone. It is the queer community that has done the most work. It is the queer community that has developed strategies. And now it is the queer community who mourns.”

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So this is one of the more entertaining reads of my year, but that’s not really the point: I think this show is interesting in that… it’s a show based off a book that involves itself in deeply obvious queercoding, which was probably not intentional, but that the show has also definitely leaned into and that the books also leaned in to (the nightingale in the square… also yes I too love to buy cute cottages in the south downs with my platonic friends i’ve known for 6000 years). Like… the creator has been very clear to say “you can interpret it however you want” (something the two lead actors have flagrantly ignored in all interviews). But I really really hesitate to call that queerbaiting because it’s really… not baiting me it’s just kinda giving me text. which I’m eating up like the big old hopeless romantic lesbian I am

Are any of these hauled books on your TBR? Any you want me to prioritize? Any you hate? What about all these interesting links? Let me know down in the comments! watercolor-2087454_960_720Blog | Goodreads | Twitter | Instagram | Spotify | Youtube

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