Okay I know I screamed about it so much already, but holy shit, guys I GOT INTO COLLEGE THIS MONTH. And… apparently I did other things, as well.
This month saw me doing a whole lot of nothing, which might have been exactly what I needed to do, honestly. I actually did a full wrap-up of everything I did this year, and wow, this year was totally wild. I highly recommend just looking at that.
here are some other things I did that I’m proud of:
- first appointment with new therapist!! (12/1)
- spent all weekend finishing up my ten-page humanities paper (12/01-12/02)
- and then managed to finish that AND both started and finished my ethnic studies project! and did all my blogging for the week! and did a college interview! (12/03)
- spent all day working on my Pride and Prejudice essay!! (12/04)
- had an excellent time at my dad’s birthday dinner! (12/05)
- FINISHED my pride and prejudice essay and REFINISHED my ethnic studies project!! (12/06)
- both finished and turned in my five-page Lolita essay!!! not to brag but that was a GREAT ESSAY and I VERY PASSIONATELY LOVE WHAT I WROTE (12/07)
- aced my final test (12/12)
- got into college guys (12/14)
- finished my Pachinko final paper (12/16-12/17)
- you’ll notice I finished almost all of these projects very early
- chilled out for an entire two weeks for once in my life
all my due dates
- Finish my eight-page Frankenstein project, due 12/04✅
- Finish my ethnic studies final presentation, due 12/10✅
- Finish my three-page Pride & Prejudice paper, due 12/11✅
- Finish all my math assignments etc etc etc and ace my final test on 12/12✅
- Finish my
three**five-page Lolita essay, due 12/18✅
- Finish my six-page Pachinko & Sympathizer final paper, due 12/18✅
- Prepare for my Humanities final on 12/19✅
and some personal ones
- Get into college, hopefully✅
- Maybe try to practice the guitar again?❌
- Practice therapist-appointed meditation exercises?❌
- Read twenty-five books, and yes this is absurd❌
- Enjoy family time and have a really great Christmas!!✅
- Watch twenty movies, and yes this is ridiculous❌
There’s a lot going on in my life that doesn’t always show up on specific goal lists!! Here are a few highlights:
- all the coursework for Latin
- all the coursework for Adolescence Reimagined
- all the coursework for AP Calculus
- all the coursework for Shakespeare
- continuing to be a good dancer in dance class, I guess
- voice lessons, of course, and maybe prepping for a February performance
- keeping up on running Spectrum club
- sometime, accomplishing my semester goals by learning to play the guitar
- Get the Spectrum Anonymous Network going❌ (we’ve been trying to get this to happen for two months and we’re getting training !!)
- Do one Super Cool Thing with friends.❌ (this is, again, a part of my semester goals post)
- Get my current writing outline to three full opening chapters.❌ (another semester goal) (as of now, one of these is almost completed, and I’m feeling very very motivated).
- Figure out what I’m doing with my homework schedule, as last month got a little unwieldy.❌ (currently strongly considering bullet journaling).
Weirdly enough, though, the rest of this is actually on a week-by-week basis for now. I’m going to be figuring out some way of tracking my goal accomplishment on a weekly basis sometime this month: check back next post!
- Read at least four books.❌ (another semester goal)
- Go to lunch three times.❌ (another semester goal)
- Spend extended time with friends three times.❌ (you guessed it!! another semester goal)
- Keep up with new episodes of The Good Place (my favorite tv show of all time), Brooklyn Nine Nine (my other favorite tv show), and The Bachelorette (which I watch for the memes).❌
- Practice therapist-appointed meditation exercises at least three times.❌
- The Good Place, season three | ★★★★★
I’ve just been keeping up with season three so far and thankfully, it doesn’t seem to be going downhill!! I love this show so much, it makes me laugh so hard but also makes me… genuinely happy? Can’t recommend enough.
- A Series of Unfortunate Events, season two | ★★★★★
I actually watched most of this last month, but I had to catch up. This is a show that is far too funny to have marketing around being so dark. My review is linked!!
still need to watch
Killing Eve (Hulu) (season 1)
Sense8 (season 2)
Queer Eye (season 2)
Crazy Ex Girlfriend (seasons 1-3)
Person of Interest (seasons 1-5)
Black Sails (seasons 1-5)
Community (seasons 1-7)
….no judging me for how much tv i haven’t watched
→Rainbow (2017) Kesha
This album is such a fantastic ode to self-love and self-care and I adore it.
HIGHLIGHTS: The slow and gorgeous opening Bastards, the total bop of Woman, the savage Praying and the far more accepting Learn to Let Go, the romantic ode Finding You, the beautiful self-loving Rainbow, and the hilarious bop Hunt You Down.
LOWLIGHTS: I am a huge non-fan of the completely toneless Hymn. I’ve skipped mentioning track two, Let Em Talk, and then tracks 10-14, but I don’t think any of them are necessarily bad; tracks ten and eleven tend towards ridiculous, but I genuinely enjoy twelve through fourteen.
→Pray for the Wicked (2018) Panic! at the Disco
This eleven-track album went over my head on first listen, but I for some reason got back into it this month and I’m now a huge fan. It’s an I-don’t-give-a-fuck album in every way.
HIGHLIGHTS: Say Amen (Saturday Night) is one of the best songs of the entire year and has gone more under the radar than I think is fair. High Hopes is one of the few radio hits this year that deserved it. Roaring 20s, which is just such a beat. I am also obsessed with the album’s only piano track, the mournful Dying in LA.
LOWLIGHTS: The sort-of toneless Hey Look Ma I Made It is the only song on this excellent album that I genuinely dislike. And I think King of the Clouds is a little overproduced.
→aurora (2018) Bea Miller
Ah, Bea Miller, remember when you were but a simple pop artist? I don’t. Bea’s recent aurora (2018) is so different and so good and I just love every song so much and god, I just LOVE HER. I also realized I like these songs all so much that I had to create a whole other category for songs I love but not enough to Shout Them Out.
HIGHLIGHTS: Oh god, the whole thing. The gloriously explosive diss tracks of song like you, motherlove, and buy me diamonds. The sad-in-a-catchy-way outside. The gentle emotional repression ballad of girlfriend. The absolute bop of a sequel and probably the song I’ve listened to the most this month, bored. The perfect conclusion to all that repression, repercussions. And then S.L.U.T., the most underrated feminist jam of 2018 and the song I discovered her from.
IN THE MIDDLE: The quietly awful i can’t breathe, which I’m realizing while writing this I should listen to more. The glorious self-love track of like that. I’ve also suddenly discovered I enjoy listening to warmer.
LOWLIGHTS: I still don’t like the two album-ending collabs, crash&burn and to the grave.
→Golden Hour (2018) Kacey Musgraves
Kacey Musgraves’ Golden Hour (2018) is… a glorious art piece and my favorite album of 2018. The only song I’d heard from this album at first was High Horse, a fun track. But it does not begin to convey the way I feel listening to this album. This album is a spiritual experience in which the clouds open and all of my problems are solved by the music. This is a love letter to the world that makes me feel so much. Literally all of these could qualify as favorite tracks and probably will once I overplay them a bit more, and I love that.
IN THE MIDDLE: Oh What a World is a beautiful track about appreciating the world around you. Love Is a Wild Thing is a gorgeous love song to love itself. Velvet Elvis is a catchy and more retro-sounding track about classic love that would be a standout track on literally any other album. In perfect contrast, the sequel Wonder Woman is a song about not needing a superman to win love: just something simple. (I don’t know how to lasso the love out of you.) High Horse is a catchy-as-hell retro track and the perfect mood for 2019. Golden Hour‘s background vocals make it sound even more loving than it already did, and with those lyrics, how could it not? (Cause I love the light that I’ve found in you.)
HIGHLIGHTS: Literally everything on this album. The opening track, Slow Burn, is one of my favorite songs of all time; it somehow works both when I’m incredibly sad and when I’m incredibly happy. Lonely Weekend is a glorious track about being okay with being alone; Butterflies is a snappy romantic track that again, feels like it should be a basic romantic, but actually feels like therapy: a return from lovelessness (taking my hand instead of taking my crown / cloud nine was always out of reach). Mother is a minute-long track about missing your mother that somehow just… gets me. Space Cowboy is so sad and real and beautiful. Happy & Sad… is so amazing it makes me angry. The idea of being happy, but being sad because you’ve never having been that happy and you’re waiting for the waves to crash down is so… real, and just a little tiny bit upsetting in how close to home it hits. And then there’s the album’s gorgeous ending, Rainbow, where she pulls it all together into one happy & sad conclusion.
[Letterboxd Film Diary]
new movies: 7
- Dumplin (2018) dir. Anne Fletcher | ★★★★★
fat girls can be beautiful and strong (and desired), gender noncomforming girls can be beautiful and strong, and girls standing strong together will always outlive hatred. It makes me so happy that such a feel-good movie can be a part of affirming that.
- I,Tonya (2017) dir. Craig Gillespie | ★★★★★
Sometimes, no matter how hard you work, time is not on your side. But everyone has their own story of trials and tribulations. And so sometimes, the truth doesn’t matter: what matters is the hurt we hide and feel. Like if you enjoy crying and unreliable narrators and the concept of diegesis!!
- Widows (2018) dir. Steve McQueen | ★★★★★
You know what point was made in this one review on this page:
“the truth is that the marginalized supporting the marginalized, emotionally and institutionally, is crucial. the truth is that we always have to be wary of politicians, even -no, especially- if they’re hot.”
because I think that’s ultimately the point of this film, that no matter the appearance, corruption and racism can lurk in every institution. I can’t believe this is my first Steve McQueen movie. I can’t believe Viola Davis only has one Oscar.
- Ex Machina (2014) dir. Alex Garland | ★★★★★
My favorite exchange I’ve ever had was about this movie and it went as follows and yes it has spoilers, don’t read it:
“that bitch I KNEW she was shady. i hate her so much i cant believe he fell for it”
“okay but she kind of did that”
“she kind of did do that”
Not even joking, this is one of my favorite movies I’ve ever seen. The goddamn cinematography alone… I don’t think I’ve ever really understood shot composition until watching this movie. It’s a metaphor about how women are only seen through the prism of male desire, in two different ways, the nice guy and the overt douchebag. And there’s a sexy robot trope? NOPE!! we hate the sexy robot trope. Women are voiceless once thrown away, but they are never powerless. You know what I find so fascinating about this movie, that the male gaze is so present in the camera for so many parts of the movie, and then sometimes we go into Ava’s head, and it’s gone. It’s a wonderful study in lenses.
It’s funny! But also I keep feeling like I’m about to die! How did this only have four characters and one of them doesn’t speak? How is this so completely diegetic? Alicia Vikander Kills Men From Star Wars is a movie I didn’t think I was going to watch this year, but I loved it. I am haunted by this picture.
- The Favourite (2018) dir. Yorgos Lanthimos | ★★★★★
This was… insane. This is one of the wildest and best movies I have ever seen in my whole life, and I feel like I finally understand cinema, and god Rachel Weisz is so powerful. I saw someone joking on Instagram about this being a Lesbian Love Triangle film but guys… it actually is, like it actually is, the plot of this film is a love triangle between three women who are all playing each other for power… OR ARE THEY?? If you enjoy She Did That films or The Gays or Rachel Weisz Being Hot you will enjoy this film
How were your months? Any tv shows or movies on here you’ve seen? Any thoughts or favorites? Any goals you achieved? Let me know in the comments!