Elise Has Crappy Mental Health: The Squeakquel — LET’S CHAT about February Goals

SO! January has been a far busier month than I could’ve guessed and I’ve spent 98% of my time doing homework. Or occasionally reading. So with my horrible mental health, my personality outside of that has been in sharp decline. And I’ve decided to make these former January Faves posts into combo self-care-and-my-things posts.

And I want to hear from you about how you’re doing on self care! If the answer is “shitty” you are definitely not alone. But should probably still improve.

The Music

Okay, so the music of the month is Hayley Kiyoko’s Curious. I love Hayley Kiyoko so much and this video is no exception. But honestly the music… is just such a jam.

I also listened to a lot of music from Crazy Ex Girlfriend! Which I again still have not watched. Yay.

And I rediscovered Fall Out Boy’s West Coast Smoker and Carrie Underwood’s Blown Away. Both excellent songs for shitty mental health days. Usually I use PVRIS and Halsey a lot for shitty mental health, but these last two weeks it was basically 90% those.

The Movies

I saw Love, Simon!! with my friend Ellie!

Screen Shot 2018-02-02 at 10.34.12 PM
[I also lost the iconic white hat that I’m wearing in this picture, which is really upsetting.]
Of course it was great. I sort of plan on writing a review, so wait for that!

I also saw The Darkest Hour, which was basically my last priority of all the Oscar movies on my list. So that’s fun.

The TV

I did not watch any TV this month. Beyond the singular episode of Big Little Lies I watched with my mother. This is now the third time I have watched each episode of Big Little Lies. I have only actually seen the next episode, ep six, one time, so maybe that should be fun to rewatch.

I also totally wanted to watch the fourth season of Black Mirror! but alas.

Oooooh, I also started watching a lot of Saturday Night Live, especially the news! My favorite skit from this whole month was possibly That Time Kate McKinnon Played Robert Mueller. This gets funnier every time I watch it. Just to shout out a few of my faves from months past: the Papyrus skit. Also, please tell me that y’all have seen this fucking bit. Who even is Kate McKinnon. Gotta say, though, Michael Che is my favorite of the people on that whole show. His delivery is just…. a lot.

My Life

I have gotten into an audiobook app called Libby! This is connected to Overdrive, which I have been aware of for some time, but which somehow did not work very well on my computer. [Also, audiobooks on my computer? How does that help?] So my discovery of this app has basically saved my reading life. You can put F I F T E E N audiobooks on hold at once, and I’ve already read three in this month alone. And DNFed a fourth. Having so many options is amazing ❤

I also, in more personal news, reconnected with a friend I haven’t been as close to in a while! No, this isn’t someone I know on here, but it is a person who reads a lot. Which is awesome. They’re also someone I don’t think judges me, and I don’t think I realized it or appreciated it until recently, so that’s cool.

But honestly… most of this month was just a lesson in shitty mental health. And you know what? That happens. It’s okay. But I think the realization I’ve come to is that I just don’t feel at home with my school and with much of my life. I don’t feel wanted, as the opinionated and expressive girl I am and have accepted myself to be, in the community I have boxed myself into. And I think I have been denying my lack of happiness for a very long time. New goal? Focus on the people I know matter to me and I know care about me.

Goals For Next Month

This is going to be the month of Doing Things I Really Want To Do!! So here’s a list:

  1. Watch at least three of my anticipated movies in the theaters! My top priorities right now are Light of the Moon, The Disaster Artist, Shape of Water, and I Tonya. One can be skipped, but I’d like to see the other three at least. 
  2. Watch a few episodes — let’s say three — of Black Mirror or Black Sails or Crazy Ex Girlfriend. Those are the top three shows on my list, after all.
  3. Continue to focus on growing the club I run, our school’s sort-of-QSA. I’ve wanted more membership for a while, but it looks like we’ve gained three more members to come consistently, meaning we’re now at a big enough size to at least run meeting. It would be nice to hang up more posters. Or get, you know, one more member. IT’S THE ONLY IMPRECISE GOAL ON HERE. WHATEVER.
  4. Go to at least three other club meetings. There are so many clubs I’m interested in at my school, and I’d like to work on being more involved with those communities.
  5. Hang out outside of school with friends at least three times. This is really high priority because I want to continue spending time with my friends and people who make me feel good about myself.
  6. Exercise at the school gym by running on the eliptical at least three times a week. I noticed in December how much I love doing this, and I sort of forgot after winter break came and went, so I’d like to get back on it.
  7. Go to lunch at least three times a week. I know that sounds like such a sad goal, but I ditch lunch a lot because I simply can’t convince myself I need it when homework or productivity is calling.

so… that’s it! If any of y’all have self-care goals for the month, please let me know down below. I really want to here how all of you are coping and handling mental health.

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40 thoughts on “Elise Has Crappy Mental Health: The Squeakquel — LET’S CHAT about February Goals

  1. I have so much to say!!!! First of all, I am so terribly sorry your mental health has been bad and I hope it gets better 💖💖💖 I love Curious IT’S SUCH A JAM. I never would have guessed you’d like Carrie Underwood? But I LOVE Blown away so much and glad you do too. I am so glad you got to see Love, Simon AND that pic is PRECIOUS. And lastly I am so jealous of you US people because of Libby – it’s SUCH a great app. Wonderful post and sorry for boring you with this long ass comment

    Liked by 1 person

  2. lol the squeakquel

    also that sucks that it’s been a shit mental health month 😦 but i’m so impressed/proud that you put time into self care!!! i’m not always good with that but i’d like to get better. and you’re already an #inspiration in all other fields so it’s an easy transition to this one too??

    you are the cutest person ALIVE i cannot believe you saw Love, Simon what an influencer

    the papyrus sketch is so! good! i hadn’t seen the mueller one until rn tho and wow. big little lies: also wow??

    catch me downloading libby as we speak

    also i REALLY LIKED the disaster artist (awk) but i saw shape of water on friday and i…hated it. so much. plz kik me with your thoughts if you see either

    mad respect to you for recognizing the unhealthy relationships in your life and being like, nah. i didn’t start doing that until my junior year of high school and then my senior year was like the bets ever!!! i love you and i hope february is better ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 1) queen of supporting my great blog titles. queen of supporting my shit mental health. queen of calling me cute

      2) THE MUELLER ONE can you believe the fucking cosmetic makeup I don’t even know. also Papyrus is the most iconic thing ever and I don’t even understand why

      3) LIBBY IS BEAUTIFUL

      4) I haven’t seen Disaster Artist but it’s in my top three to see! so is Shape of Water though so 😕😕😕 the third one is I Tonya I really want to see that

      5) I am literally in my junior year of high school so you good

      Liked by 1 person

      1. 1) god you’re so much better at this than me but i love and accept all these titles

        2) THE MAKEUP IS PROBABLY THE SECOND FUNNIEST PART OF THAT. SO UNSETTLING. SO GOOD.

        3) i forgot why i unlocked my phone earlier but now i remember!!! it’s app store time

        4) i am loosely planning on seeing i tonya it looks so good!!!!

        5) wow look at us. so developmentally in sync. we are time twins evidently so you’re going to have the best senior year of all time

        Liked by 1 person

      2. 1) queen of not acknowledging your superiority

        2) LMAO NO I FORGOT AGAIN

        3) junior year was the worst year of my life but it ends and then senior year rules b/c the future is incoming so who has time to give a shit about non fun stuff

        Liked by 1 person

  3. First of all I love you and I hope this month is going to be better ❤
    I’m still so jealous that you saw Simon WTF
    Of course i can’t use Libby here 🙂 but I’m happy it’s working for you!
    My self care plans this month are/were: buy tickets to the FOB concerned they’re doing in my city in April (I DID IT! I GOT THE TICKETS!), carefully avoid looking at the thing on the screen that says “February”, not be lazy when I’m home alone and I need to eat, write applications for jobs and ask for help from people I trust!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. So I kinda wrote then deleted like, 5 comments but anyway!!! I love your goals and also I should borrow your lunch one because I skip it way too often too (at least when I’m alone – there’s just so much to do and so little time :/). take care of yourself ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I love you and if you ever need to rant, I’m here to listen or rant with you 💜 I’m so sorry that you had a bad mental health month but YOU ARE SO STRONG AND AMAZING FOR GETTING THROUGH IT.

    1) why are you so cute, I’m just curious (is it serious), 2) how do you survive without lunch it’s literally the only part of the day I look forward to besides going home??? and 3) I need more sleep this month, lack of it makes bad health even worse, I found

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Michael Che is the BEST. I love him and Colin Jost, they’re just so hilarious. I could watch their segment every night.
    I’m so sorry you had a bad mental health month! It sounds so rough, and I know how hard it can be balancing everything. Hope this next month is better and you can tackle all your gaols.
    You’ve already seen Love, Simon??? I’m so JEALOUS! I literally can’t wait to see it!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Elise, those are some great tips! I definitely need to listen to more Hayley Kiyoko, but Halsey is also on the top of my list on bad mental health days! Do you know Sleeping at Last? I enjoy their music on bad days, too 🙈
    If you enjoy audiobook, I‘d also recommend trying out podcasts? Like, I love listening to podcasts, they really help me falling asleep at night and they’re also really interesting 😍

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I like Sleeping At Last! I’m not quite as connected to their music yet though 😓 maybe I should overplay it for a while and make it comforting. and DEFINITELY LISTEN TO HAYLEY KIYOKO.

      I’ve tried podcasts before!! I think I just tend to get more invested in audiobooks. but I’m open to recommendations 😊

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I looove Hayley Kiyoko so much. I don’t even know why I haven’t listened to her newer songs yet, since I adore Gravel to Tempo 😍😍

        My favourite podcast is The Bright Sessions! It’s about this therapist who helps people with supernatural abilities (such as time travel, mind reading, etc.). It‘s kinda similar to a fantasy novel tbh so maybe that‘s something you‘d enjoy as well 😌🌸

        Liked by 1 person

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